Keeping My Cool
Keeping my Cool They hoist an outrage to the brim of my eardrum,but my cool does not move. They heap stupidity into city shop windows but if my cool notices,it’s news to me. They come with angles...
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Oh, this is very cool! All of a piece, and very satisfying, even tranquilizing -- makes me feel cooler just reading it!
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SJ---i think it is about here where i got cool---or hip to the pom: They hoist an outrage to the brim of my eardrum,but my cool does not move. They heap stupidity into city shop windows but if my cool...
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Ah yes, cool as a cucumber. The rhythm and sonics are brilliant, Sarah. And they’re unexpected. Particularly here..‘Their ringtones wrangle my snarl’s furling fury but my cool is talking shop with the...
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Hi Sarah, I think you do want When the wool-worsteds wilt (plural) I find it not too hard to say. This is an elocutioner's breeze!
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Thanks very much for reading, all. Maybe I should trim it a bit. I'm really glad the end went over well. Ending this poem properly has held this poem up forever. cheers
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"on-kilter" is pretty nice. you must have played with the form of this. Just a musing:It's very taut--I wonder if it might enjoy greater appeal (if that's even a concern) if it were to get "slowed...
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you might also try "a" cigarette's ember. (Perhaps "a" match, also) One feels that the nicotene delivery system is, after all, the likely cause of the 'cool',(keel) thus, there will be more than one;...
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"it's news to me" pulled me from the poem. such a cliched phrase juxtaposed against otherwise fresh and engaging language. a foolish man's opinion. hope you're well.
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ThomasI fail to agree with what you say.Look at the lines preceding that lineThey heap stupidity into city shopwindows but if my cool notices,it’s news to me.It is the most casual of remarks,said in...
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Thanks Scott and Siva. Scott, I appreciate your point, but not sure the line bugs me here. Siva, glad it didn't bug you. To "kvetch" is yiddish for complain. It was used pretty widely where I come...
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but I am concerned, Scott, and I'm going to think about that since it hadn't occured to me as a "cliché." I recently had a poem criticized for using "clichés" and I've yet to get over it..... aaah!
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Love every bit of this. I think it's exceedingly cool and clever as hell, besides. Really love the "snarl's furling fury," but honestly, like the whole thing. Great title. Great ending. I think you've...
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Be prepared to be plagiarized, Ms Sloat. Fair warning. I'm gonna. It's too good not to.And I don't care if they catch me; at least they'll know I had the sense to steal real quality stuff,...
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Thanks for the feedback, folks. This isn't a new poem, but I've been tinkering with the end for ages. Glad it seems to work. Ron. - i have my eye on you...
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